Musician Etiquette
If you’ve been playing any instrument for some time around other musicians then you’ve probably had some uncomfortable interactions with others. Being in the music industry, this is sadly inevitable. Many people lack social awareness or learned bad ideologies or behaviors when they were young. I’ll go through a few examples throughout this post.
Ensemble rehearsals:
Greet your section mates. It’s really rude to sit right next to someone you know and not acknowledge them. You don’t need to have a full on conversation before rehearsal starts but at least give a sincere welcome. During rehearsal you may be doing things that your section mates or other ensemble mates don’t like. Are you tapping your foot too loud? Not writing in that accidental you keep missing? Or maybe you’re distracting others with eccentric movements? Maybe you’re even playing too loud all the time? Whatever the case, take a moment to think if you might do anything that could irritate others in rehearsal. And if you’re up for it you can ask your section mates any of these questions for yourself.
Giving Criticisms:
Many people may disagree with me on this but I don’t think we should give criticisms to each other during large ensemble rehearsals. Not only is it distracting to others but you could miss directions from the conductor while trying to get your section mate to play in tune. It’s best to just wait until after rehearsal to say something. If the problem persists throughout rehearsal and has a quick fix that doesn’t require talking (like a missed accidental), gently and kindly point it out without talking. Giving criticisms in small ensemble rehearsals should be approached in a warm, sincere way. Understand that the person you’re giving critique to may be having a rough day or is naturally not good with taking critique. Really put yourself in their shoes to deliver criticism in a gentle loving manner. In a non-rehearsal context you shouldn’t give criticism unless someone asks for it. Also reassure your colleagues in and out of rehearsal that they’re doing well. You don’t have to like their playing but if they’re making progress you should let them know — that could make their day :)
Identity and Appearance:
People in the music industry are constantly discriminated against based on their skin, gender, sexual orientation, and outward appearance. Music is music. All of the attributes I just listed have no effect on one’s ability to play music so why do we let it affect our perception of others as musicians? Have you ever thought that maybe men make better tuba players than women? Or maybe you thought that your beginning band black student shouldn’t play the bassoon because it’s too expensive? These are statements that some people believe and they have terrible effects on countless people and the music industry as a whole. Do you have any inherent biases that might affect how you see other musicians?
Jealousy:
Most of us have at some point been jealous of a fellow musician — maybe a close friend or colleague. Jealousy is a nasty emotion that can wreck relationships and your own mental health. You can feel happy for your fellow musician’s accomplishments without feeling jealous. The way to do that is to pinpoint why you feel this envy. Maybe you think they don’t see you as competition? Maybe it’s because you put in so much work and they seem to just do the minimum and get so far. Once you can pinpoint why you feel this way it’s easier to manage or get rid of.
I hope this was helpful to someone. If someone is being rude or irritating don’t be afraid to gently let them know. It’s better to say something early on than later on. Try not to conflate someone’s words or actions with their personality. They’re not a rude person — rather maybe just saying/doing rude things.
-Troy Moeller
